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“Appearances Lie — Why We Hide Our True Self and Fool the World”

                                                                                                              Appearances often hide the truth we choose not to show. Image courtesy: AI-generated visual     🌿 Introduction: The Side We Choose to Show Every human being has two sides. One that we proudly show to the world… And another that we carefully hide. We openly talk about our achievements, our kindness, our success, and our good deeds. We share them with friends, family, and even strangers on social media. But when it comes to our mistakes, our flaws, our regrets, and the times when we have hurt others — we suddenly become silent. Why does th...

“Appearances Lie — Why We Hide Our True Self and Fool the World”

 

                                                                                      
Man holding a black mask in front of his face symbolizing hidden true self and deceptive appearances
Appearances often hide the truth we choose not to show.
Image courtesy: AI-generated visual
   

🌿 Introduction: The Side We Choose to Show

Every human being has two sides.

One that we proudly show to the world…
And another that we carefully hide.

We openly talk about our achievements, our kindness, our success, and our good deeds. We share them with friends, family, and even strangers on social media.

But when it comes to our mistakes, our flaws, our regrets, and the times when we have hurt others — we suddenly become silent.

Why does this happen?

Why do we feel comfortable showing our “good side” but uncomfortable accepting or revealing our “bad side”?

This question may seem simple, but it reflects a deep truth about human nature.

---

🎭 The Need to Appear “Good” in Society

Most people — myself included — rarely ever reveal their negative traits.

We don’t talk about:

  • Our mistakes
  • The times we disrespected someone
  • The moments when we acted selfishly
  • Our hidden habits and personal weaknesses

Instead, we spend our entire lives trying to project only our positive image.

We want people to believe that we are:

  • Well-behaved
  • Respectable
  • Disciplined
  • Morally right

Because somewhere deep inside, we fear rejection.

We fear that if people see our real self, they might not accept us the same way.

So, we create a version of ourselves that is easier for the world to admire.

---

😶‍🌫️ The Fear of Judgment

One of the biggest reasons behind this behavior is fear of judgment.

We constantly think:

  • “What will people say?”
  • “What will they think about me?”
  • “Will they respect me after knowing the truth?”

Because of this fear, we hide our imperfections.

But the truth is:

Everyone is hiding something.

The difference is — some hide it better than others.

---

🧠 A Harsh Truth I Realized

Over time, I realized something uncomfortable but true:

We are not trying to become better… we are trying to appear better.

Becoming better requires effort, honesty, and change.

But appearing better only requires hiding the truth.

And most people choose the easier path.

---

👥 What I See Around Me Today

Today, I see many people around me living this dual reality.

Many of my friends don’t chew tobacco in public —
but they quietly consume it in secret.

If they want to drink alcohol or gamble,
they don’t go to nearby places.

They travel far — to another area or even another village —
just to make sure no one they know is watching.

Even there, they remain alert.

They look around.
They confirm that no familiar face is present.
And only then… they drink, smoke, and gamble.

Why?

Because they want to maintain a clean image in society.

They want people to believe that they are disciplined and respectable.

And interestingly — people do believe it.

---

⚖️ Reality vs Image: The Gap We Ignore

This behavior made me realize something deeper.

There is a huge difference between:

  • Who we are
  • And who we pretend to be

We are not changing our habits.
We are only changing where and how we hide them.

And slowly, this gap between reality and image becomes our identity.

---

🎓 A Personal Experience from My College Days

I remember an incident from my college days that still stays with me.

Back then, I had a large circle of friends. Among them was one friend who had a habit of teasing girls. We often warned him to stop, telling him that one day it would backfire.

But he never took it seriously.

One day, he teased a beautiful girl — someone confident and fearless.

In a split second, she removed her sandal and slapped him hard across the face.

Right there.
In front of everyone.

The entire college witnessed it — boys, girls, everyone.

In that one moment, his “fun” behavior turned into public humiliation.

His hidden side was exposed.

But what shocked me the most was not the incident…

It was his reaction.

He felt no regret.
No guilt.
No realization.

Years passed.

Life moved on.

And surprisingly, that same person later became a high-ranking official in a major government corporation.

Recently, I met him again.
We were talking about old college memories, laughing about the past.

Then this incident came up.

I expected him to feel embarrassed.

But instead, he smiled and said:

“I was the only one who truly enjoyed college life. That beautiful girl will remember me forever. You guys didn’t know how to enjoy life… you were all fools.”

I stood there silently.

And then, without saying anything,
I simply walked away.

Because in that moment, I understood something deeply disturbing:

A person can hide their behavior from the world…
but if they never accept it within themselves, they never change.

---

📚 An Incident That Opened My Eyes

There is a historical library near my house.

Every morning, newspapers arrive there. People come to read and stay updated.

There is one elderly man from my society who lives alone.
He comes very early every day, almost impatient to read the newspaper.

At first, I admired him.

I thought — “What a disciplined and aware person.”

But one day, I observed him closely.

And what I saw shocked me.

He wasn’t reading the entire newspaper.

He was only searching for one type of news:

👉 Rape cases and crimes against women

He read those articles with intense interest.
Page after page.

Nothing else.

Once done, he quietly left.

That moment changed my perspective.

Because on the outside, he appeared calm, disciplined, and simple.

But his hidden interest revealed something entirely different.

---

🪞 The Truth We Don’t See

At that moment, I remembered a Marathi proverb: “दिसत तसं नसतं, म्हणून जग फसतं

which means : “Things are not what they seem  — and that is how the world gets deceived.”

How deeply true this is.

What we see in people is only a surface.

The real story often lies beneath.

---

A Question We Must Ask Ourselves

Now, you might ask me:

“If the people around you are like this… then what about you?”

And honestly —
that is the most important question.

Because this is not about others.

This is about us.

We must ask ourselves:

  • What am I hiding?
  • What truth about me do I avoid?
  • Am I really as good as I appear?

Because real growth does not begin when we look at others.

It begins when we look within.

---

🌱 Conclusion: Be Real, Not Perfect

We all have flaws.

We all have made mistakes.

We all have a side we are not proud of.

But hiding it does not make us better.

Accepting it does.

The world does not need more perfect people.

It needs more honest people.

People who can say:

👉 “I am not perfect… but I am aware.”
👉 “I have flaws… but I am willing to improve.”

Because in the end…

Your hidden side does not define you —
your willingness to face it does.

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